The WTFJH face ... you've seen it!!!

Welcome friends .. what can I get you today? On tap we have Mad Men IPA, RvP Pale Ale, Seth Greenberg Cider, and Mark Lyons Lager. Although I think some Walmart execs are going to want something a little harder than any of those liquid options. Never drink the water in Mexico!! Or bribe Mexican officials unless you have drug cartel money!! Lot's of initials to be served today (index at the bottom) so let's get to business and man is it good!!

I'm not sure how I'm going to keep today's entry appropriate for work or polite discussion because the 2nd most memorable Mad Men moment happened on Sunday night at about 10:20. On the NSFW (or in my case NSFS) scale, it's at the Clarence Thomas/Anita Hill level. By process of elimination I'll tell you it wasn't Megan Draper spitting sherbert venom at Don or a bottle of Stoli playing the Russian national anthem for RogerTimothy LearySterling. When Peggy told the random toker to keep his eyes on the screen and started working on her right hand dribble, I could feel the metamorphosis to WTFJH face rippling through my facial muscles. My slack expression and glassy eyes concealed the 16mm film (note to younger readers: 16mm was the type of film used to record my exploits as a youngster. 16mm predated VHS cameras. 16mm films were silent with colors like the Instagram app) of Peggy's character arc playing in my non-LSD aided mind. First season Peggy of the stodgy dress and concealed pregnancy has morphed into a full-fledged copywriter at SCDP! She has adopted the behavior of all the males, save Bert Cooper, in the office. From alcohol aided nights to afternoon delights, Peggy is indistinguishable from OD, Pete, Roger, Duck, Freddy or Joan. She certainly had a Grinch-after-raiding-Whoville smile of satisfaction as she washed random toker's DNA off her hands before heading back to the office to crash on Don's couch. WTFJH face stuck around a good three or four minutes while my mind wrapped itself around Peggy's Skinemax moment. (BTW .. Mad Men's most memorable moment was Don presenting Kodak's Carousel projector to end season one. Only E=mc2 and Jay-Z being the greatest rapper alive are more certain.) Thankfully Don's frantic call snapped me back to reality so I could witness Roger's trip. Except for some good special effects and Don telling Roger to go to the truth with his wife (The truth is he hates the %@*?& .. has since he married her. Jane Seigel-Sterling is hot but shallow. Although ... props to the person in wardrobe who picked out Jane's outfit for the LSD party. Bravo!), the rest of the episode tasted like chicken until Bert called Don out for being a lazy SOB. Satisfied Don is as interesting as Ryan Seacrest. Who watches American Idol anymore? Get my point? Don has been satisfied since he stopped chasing skirts. He hasn't had one good advertising thought since mid-way through season four. The only person at SCDP with enough juice to call Don out on his slump was Bert Cooper, and thankfully he finally pulled the trigger. Don has the jaw-dropping ability to be MJ times Kobe plus D-Rose. Peggy's ceiling is Jeff Hornacek. She can make some shots, but she never stops you in your tracks. Don needs to page Apollo Creed and get the eye of the tiger back, both in and out of the office. Far away places indeed!!

In jolly old England, RvP picked up his second major award in two days as he was named the 2012 Footballer of the Year by the FWA. There was a time when this award should have been named the Footballer of the Year by the AFC as the Gunners had five winners in nine seasons (Dennis Bergkamp in 97-98, Robert Pires in 01-02, and Thierry Henry in 02-03, 03-04, 05-06). However since Arsene Wenger embarked upon his pedo-reliant strategy, Arsenal players' award cabinets have been as bare as the clubs' (That sentence is grammatically mangled. I need to hire an editor!). But RvP has stayed healthy (knock on wood, but in a decidedly different context than Peggy Olson's knocking on wood) and has allowed his talent/skill to show up in the back of the net. RvP was known as a hothead who his teammates couldn't count on as a youngster. Now he is Arsenal's unquestioned leader and the rock which all of Arsenal's success is built around. If only the next two guys had learned these lessons.

Seth Greenberg and Mark Lyons have both dailed in Ricky Nelson on the radio and are headed for different pastures. Seth Greenberg was the mens basketball coach at VT until he was fired yesterday even though VT has been as competitive as ever in the ACC. Greenberg found himself under the bus for several reasons, not the least of which was a contract due to expire in 2013. Following the 2011-2012 season, every assistant coach, plus the DOBO, left Greenburg's staff for jobs at other schools. I'm not going to say such coaching movement is unprecedented, but even the Sanford City Police could see that this was a major problem. However the guillotine wasn't set until Greenberg skipped an important athletic department workshop to recruit. VT's AD had enough, and Greenberg's head rolled. Now VT is faced with finding a coach to compete in the ACC while keeping the payroll at level only Walmart could appreciate.

I'm not sure if Chris Mack had Ray Charles playing on his iPod during his meeting with Mark Lyons, but X's second leading scorer from last season will not return. I don't want to throw Lyons under the same bus as Greenberg, but his time at X has not been without incident. Lyons did more to provoke the Crosstown Beatdown than a North Korean missle test. He lost his starting spot due to an Allen Iverson practice episode, and angered his teammates and coaches with his Allen Iverson game impressions. He jacked up 27 more shots than Tu Holloway (X's leading scorer) and had a 1.3:1 turnover to assist ratio (as X's PG). To be fair, Lyons was recruited by Sean Miller before he disappeared into the desert (Arizona is Lyons' likely landing spot) and I'm not sure Chris Mack is as adept at handling players at Pancho Vill .. I mean Sean Miller. He is also on course to receive his degree from X this spring (Lyons was a redshirt his first year at X, so he has spent four years at the school). Lyons is a talented player, and his departure leaves X's starting line-up looking like Concourse A at CVG. Hopefully the young man understands his deficiencies, embraces change and has a productive 2012-2013 campaign.

That's all I got for today ... Below is the Rosetta Stone for my hieroglyphs.

NSFW = Not Safe For Work
NSFS = Not Safe For School
WTFJH = What The F Just Happened
VHS = Video Home System or video cassette based recording system
LSD = Lysergic Acid Diethylamide or slang Acid, psycholdelic drug
SCDP = Sterling, Cooper, Draper, Pryce, the fictional ad agency on Mad Men
OD = Old Don, Don before his current marriage when he tried to hook up with every female he saw
DNA = Deoxyribonucleic Acid, carries a person's genetic code
BTW = By The Way
E=mc2 = Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared, ask Einstein or Hawking
SOB = Son Of a Biscuit eater
MJ = His Airness Michael Jordan
RvP = Robin van Persie, center forward for the Arsenal Gunners
FWA = Football Writers Association in England
AFC = Arsenal Football Club
VT = Virginia Tech University
ACC = Atlantic Coast Conference
DOBO = Director of Basketball Operations
AD = Athletic Director
X = Xavier University
PG = Point Guard
CVG = Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport, located in Covington, KY