Nah nah nah nah ... hey hey hey ... goodbye ... Yeah I know ... I'm mashing my songs together which is perfectly acceptable on a Monday! It's an all sports edition today with one caveat, a sharp barb for all my red friends (not Reds friends!!) after developments late last week and weekend in countries around the world. Critics of President Obama were quick to put him to the sword last week when several embassies were spontaneously attacked by mobs. Ignoring the definition of spontaneous, several of my red friends said Obama was "derelict of duty" for missing several of his daily National Security Briefings and failing to warn embassy personnel in the Middle East to expect trouble. After seeing spontaneous (adj. - performed or occurring without premeditation or external stimulus) mobs lash out at the UK and German embassies, I hurriedly placed my ear to the Facebook to listen to these same red friends condemn David Cameron and Angela Merkel for dereliction of duty .... but I only heard crickets. Another example of the difficulty of predicting and preventing spontaneous mob violence erupted over the weekend in China, when Chinamen - and women - angry over Japanese ownership claims of some uninhabited islands in the East China Sea (fabulous prizes if you can locate the East China Sea without Google Earth!) attacked Japanese interests in China. Japanese consulates, factories (such as Toyota, Honda, Panasonic and Canon), stores and schools located in China were torched and stoned even though China is one of the most rigidly controlled countries in the world. If history has taught us anything, it is that you can kill anyone and that spontaneous mob violence is impossible to predict or prevent. And that comes straight from the Godfather's mouth ... he knows mobs!
With the heavy lifting over and the sweat wiped from my brow, it's time to recap a very successful sports weekend for all my rooting interests. The Clark Cougars football team growled their record to 3-1 with a 21-nil blasting of the Cincinnati Country Day Redskins ... ummm that's politically incorrect ... Redmen ... errr he's a rapper ... Indians ... what? still not PC? ... Native Americans?? ... Friday night. Even better news was the $100 dollars the basketball team raised in the "Split the Pot" drawing, with the other $100 going to CLARK!! alum and all-time leading basketball scorer Al Upshaw!! The Cougars travel to Cincinnati Christian - well the game is at the old Lakota High School field - Friday night hoping to get Coach Steve Sheehan's 200th career win and stay on track for the football team's first state playoff berth.
Saturday morning my second favorite team in red - Arsenal - gunned down the Saints of Southampton 6-1 at the Emirates. The Gunners coasted for much of the match, with Southampton's defense looking as exposed as Kate Middleton on a French beach. For an Arsenal attack which had shown more fizz than firework in the first three league matches, hopefully the fuse stays lit during the upcoming fortnight's tough run (at Montpellier in the Champs league, at City in the league, v. Coventry City in the Capital One Cup and v. Chelsea in the league). I like the Gunners squad right now even though questions linger about the potency of French hitman Olivier Giroud. Excepting Thierry Henry, the French haven't shown much fight since the Battle of Waterloo. Santi Carzola continues to be the Spanish straw that stirs the Arsenal attack, and Lucas Podolski has looked lethal when presented with a scoring opportunity. Giroud, Gervinho, Theo and the Ox will need to net a minimum of 10 times for the Gunners to stay in the top four, or, heaven forbid, mount a title challenge.
My third favorite team in red - the Ohio State Buckeyes - took the field immediately following the Gunners victory and for the first quarter looked a good imitation of Arsenal's dominance. But the California Golden Bears clawed back and briefly held a lead in the third quarter before Braxton Miller found Devin Smith for a 72-yard touchdown pass with a little over 4:00 minutes on the clock. Worrisome for the Buckeyes is the continued lackluster play from the Silver Bullets (note to non-OSU fans: Silver Bullets has been the defense's nickname .. how much longer it remains is yet to be seen). While the Bullets haven't been Kate Middleton exposed, they have only covered about as much as a South Beach string bikini against several mediocre offenses. Hopefully the Bullets avoid being duds and start to stop people with authority as the schedule increases in difficulty over the next few weeks.
Finally my favorite team in red - the Cincinnati Reds!! - reduced their Magic Number to five yesterday with a victory over the Flor .. err .. Miami Marlins. For all the South Beach hype around the Marlins new stadium, the Miami braintrust should have known all the baseball fans in Florida snowbird back north after April 1. Both Miami and Tampa have stadiums with crown noise akin to a morgue at midnight ... if you ignore the thumping techno-dance-electronica music coming from the mini-Clevelander club in Miami's left field corner. His Dustiness doesn't dance to techno-dance-electronica and he doesn't scratch his head unless it itches, so stop asking him why Wilson Valdez plays shortstop everyday even though he hits about as often my lottery numbers. Didi Gregorius isn't much of an improvement at the dish - you can tell he never eats b/c he's so skinny!! - but at least he has the excuse of being a September call-up. What's Valdez's excuse?? Don't forget about Drew Stubbs .. he can run fast .. he caught a pretty routine fly ball to end yesterday's game and you would have thought it was Willie Mays making an over-the-shoulder basket catch. Free Chris Heisey makes the same catch ten out of ten times and, heaven forbid!, hits the ball too!! Oh well .. I do protest too much!!
Enough for today?? Yeah .. I think so. Peace!!
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