Anybody know when the next Halley's Comet is?

I'll settle for seeing Comet PANstarrs, but Mother Nature hasn't been cooperating so far. If you are a stargazer like me, Wednesday night will provide a great opportunity to see PANstarrs just after sunset. The comet will appear between the crescent moon and the horizon, assuming there are no clouds, trees or houses  obscuring your view. The old ball coach says, "Go outside and look to the heavens!! Viewable comets don't come around very often!!" Enough of the daily educational portion of the blog .. back to our regular programming.

Under the category labeled DUH!!!, researchers at Puke Duke University found women to be grumpier in the morning than men. Really? You don't say? I have collected anecdotal evidence on this topic for years, although I was not contacted by PDuke about my research. Any male who has wiped sleep from his eyes with a woman at his side can testify, under oath, about the validity of this research. Don't believe me?? Try this little 'research' technique ... next time you are waking up with your wife, girlfriend or random bar/Craigslist/ashleymadison.com/grocery store hookup other female friend at your side, wake her up suddenly and take notes on her response. Unless you are served breakfast in bed 20 minutes later, there is a 92.75% probability you'll be chalking up her response in the "Grumpy" category. I'm not sure why women are grumpier in the morning ... maybe it's because in their dreams all us men look like the Calvin Klein Super Bowl ad model and in reality ... we look like the Calvin Klein Super Bowl ad model!!!! Well ... I can only speak for myself, but I'm definitely not chiseled from stone ... I'm chiseled from Graeter's - chocolate chunk please! Alas there is a technique to alleviate this grumpiness, and a study out of Germany confirms my research on this topic as well!!! Since this blog is PG, I'll sanitize the results as best as possible. Intimacy of the carnal variety - at any time of the day - can relieve headaches and brighten moods through the release of endorphins. There are two very important outcomes from this research for men. 1. You can turn her frown upside down with a quick horizontal mambo. 2. No more accepting the "I have a headache' excuse. Before you let your significant other reach for the Bayer aspirin (thank you Germany!!), tell her you have a better home remedy. Sometimes science is such fun!!!

Correctly match the following - feel free to draw lines.

A - PSY

B - Kim Jong Un


North Korea today announced they were voiding the 1953 armistice which ended the fighting on the Korean peninsula between North and South Korea. The North's decision was a response to joint military exercises between the United States and South Korea taking place currently. North Korea is prone to grandiose delusions of military greatness and clearly didn't pay attention to the results of the U.S. - Iraq ballgame a couple years ago. It's another attempt by PSY Kim Jong-Un to puff out something other than his cheeks - I'm talking about his chest people .. get your minds out of the gutter!! - for the state-controlled cameras in the North and show the hardliners in the KPA (Korean People's Army) how tough he is. He may want to stop writing checks with his chipmonk-cheeked mouth that his army can't cash before the United States goes all Gangnam style on North Korea and stomps another dictator into the history books. Not that I am ever in favor of military intervention as a first resort, but when you threaten nuclear attack you are clearly asking for the MC sledgeHammer. The only other Korean most Americans know - PSY - was smart enough to know ... Can't touch this!!! Kim Jong-Un better ask somebody before it's Hammer Time!!!

Speaking of Can't Touch This ... can we get to baseball's regular season already?!?! This World Baseball Classic thing needs to go the way of the Dodo bird. The U.S. of A took out the powerhouses Italy and Canada, but was shellacked by Mexico. They've moved onto the second round now against the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico and Italy (who-a knew-a Italians played-a baseball anyway???) I could care less!!! Unless their jersey's say REDS or CINCINNATI across the front, baseball is about as fun to follow as a tooth extraction. Of course some pundits/fans/fanatics are concerned about the Reds form so far in Spring Training .... HAHAHA!!!! The 'Red' - and I say that tepidly since these guys are more like Bats or Blue Wahoos (the Reds AAA and High AA teams for those of you not familiar with the Reds farm system .. I'm not obsessed or anything .. no worries!!) - with the most plate appearances is Emmanuel Burris. Name his position and win fabulous prizes!! Anybody wanna guess the Reds' pitcher with the second most innings pitched so far?? Wait for it ..... Wait for it ..... Bueller ..... Bueller .... Clay Hensley .... who??? Isn't he a country singer??? My point exactly!! When Shin-Soo Choo stands in against Jered Weaver of the California Los Angeles Anaheim Irvine West Covina Mission Viejo Angels on April 1st I'll start to worry about scoring runs and getting opposing hitters out. Until then I give Maj. Gen. Dusty Custer a pass on all in-game managerial decisions and results. Enjoy the calm before the storm Dusty!!!

That's all for today ... stop back later this week for another exciting installment of ... TSTGOINH!!!