Ish I hear in school ...

It's Friday ... Randomizer is today's theme and not a horse in the Kentucky Derby. I'm feeling like today's entry is going to remind my loyal readers of the Son of Beast (pre-shut down): herky jerky with a lot of fits and starts ... no real flow. So let's gooooooo!!!

For those uninformed I am a high school teacher. As such I am privy to a world most adults peek into through the distorted lens of Pretty Little Liars or DeGrassi. Real life high school more closely resembles a pot of shimmering comedy gold for a mind as inquisitive as mine. With that in mind, here are some quotes I overhead just this morning.

"I think it's officially over because he untagged all our pics on Facebook and blocked me." "Well girl you just gotta let him go and if he comes running back ... well then you decide what you want to do." Never have truer words of immature love and affection been spoken! I imagine Juliet whispering similar utterances to her nurse about Romeo in one of Shakespeare's greatest deleted scenes .. right before Mercurio and Tybalt duel. Romeo does come running back, but it doesn't end the way Juliet had planned. Shut the front door .. enough Shakespeare ... back to modern day teenage love and relationships!!! This great and strong love shared by two teenagers was ended by the click of a mouse ... BAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Most people not in the AARP check Facebook before their ritualistic morning 'wake-up pee' (okay .. maybe that's just me .. focus!), so Facebook friendship and relationship status is probably at the top of the 'Teenage Love List". In the dark ages of the 1980's, you could get rid of your girlfriend using the following methods: ignore for a couple days, break-up note - folded correctly of course!, by land-line phone call - mom & dad seated 5 feet away, or face-to-face. Break-up note was the preferred method ... quick and easy ... a press of squared paper into the palm of your soon to be heartbroken ex .. and you shimmied away in a manner similar to a fish being released back into the water. Mostly gutless I agree, but at least there was a measure of interpersonal communication. By the time the calendar clicked over past 2000, break-up texts had replaced notes and a person could do the dastardly deed without ever encountering a set of welling eyes. Today all it takes are a few clicks of the mouse and a person is saved the painstaking search for the right words to end it all ... but I'll always love you. And we can still be friends ... just don't tag me in any photos, okay?

"What were you doing?" "Well, Ms. Nurse-scrubs looked at James hand and thinks he broke it so she had me put his arm in a sling so he wouldn't hit it against anything the rest of the day." SMH ... there are so many problems with this little nugget it's hard to know where to start. To shed some light on this exchange, I teach at a career-tech school. We have a nurse's aide program, so there are 100 future nurses (This fact alone scares the ish out of me. If I were staring at the Grim Reaper and saw some of these students getting ready to administer aid to me, I would hide under his cloak!) running around our building and two BSN degreed instructors on staff. A random student somehow injured his hand and instead of calling his mother or father, he turned to a student who has been studying nursing for 8 months for a diagnosis of his injuries. This nursing student, in turn, took the critically wounded adolescent to her instructor - a licensed nurse - and through process of elimination diagnosed a broken hand. What do you do for a broken hand? Call home? Ask your parents to take you to the doctor? No way!!!! Put it in a sling and stay at school!!! ****Legal Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. Anything I type from this point forward cannot be used against me in a court of law.**** Last time I reviewed my American Medical Association manual, a cast is the preferred method for dealing with broken bones in the hand. Usually an x-ray is need to confirm the break and the break often times has to be reset. A sling??? Here's a Q-Tip for your gunshot wound .. hope it feels better.

"Put your phone away and quit texting." "It's my mom." "Your mom starts texts with, 'hi sexy! :)'?" Yup ... these are the future leaders of America!!!

Dusty Custer baffled me with his knuckleball inspired managerial decisions yesterday. He started journeyman Willie Horton ( I know his last name is Harris, but it's criminal that an .094 hitter gets a paycheck from a major league baseball team!!) at 3rd base instead of Todd Frazier - a 26 year old top prospect in the Reds organization or regular 3rd baseman Scott Rolen. Forget for the moment the fact Frazier has more hits than Willie in under half the number of at-bats. In Dusty's words "we gotta get Willie going." I'm not sure where Dusty wants Willie to go, but the majority of Reds' fans hope it's the unemployment line. To further infuriate the fans and cause #Reds to be the #1 trending topic on Twitter, Dusty threw Wilson Valdez out at shortstop in place of fan-favorite Zach Cozart. Valdez is hitting .200, Cozart .267. Valdez plays the field in the mold of Bill Buckner, Cozart is a modern-day Barry Larkin with the leather. Predictably, Valdez and Harris combined to go 0/7 with 3 K's (Harris did walk to lead off the 9th. Carlos Marmol - the Cubs closer - was about as accurate as a John Edwards campaign finance report. Marmol had to be missing the strikezone by three feet for Harris to recognize his wildness. Harris later came around to score after an error and some more walks). Cozart played 1 inning, got 1 hit and scored the winning run. Who drove Cozart in? Scott Rolen, who was playing in place of Willie Harris. Some people might say it was a great double switch by his Dustiness to put Cozart and Rolen into the lineup for the 10th inning. I would argue at least one if not both of Cozart and Rolen should have started. But the Reds did win to even their record at 12-12 as they head out on a six game road trip to Pittsburgh and Milwaukee. I'll give Dusty Custer a C so far on his last stand. Anything less than 3-3 on this roadie and the grade goes down.

Tip of the day: Churchill Downs; Race 11; $2 exacta box 3,5,6,8; $5 to win/place on the 5; if it rains $5 to win/place on the 15

Have a great Derby weekend!!!